Barking At The Bachelor: Season 21, Episode 10

What’s good Bachelor Nation!
Hope you all have had your coffee after a late night watching the THREE HOUR impromptu Bachelor Event last night! Talk about a surprise! We thought we were only getting the Women Tell All special last night, but the Bachelor gods snuck in an extra hour of Fantasy Suite folly to reward us for all of our loyal watching. Ready for a recap? It’s time for Barking At The Bachelor!

The Next Morning…
The episode opens after a night of what we can only assume to be crazy coitus in Lapland, Finland as Nick Viall prepares to leave Raven for his date with Rachel. Everyone seems… Um… Satisfied. Especially Raven who eagerly tells us that, “Nick is really good at what he does, so I’m pretty satisfied today”. Shortly after Nick’s departure we get a delightfully corny post-O montage of Raven frolicking around Finland. Atta way Raven. Get it girl!

“It’s like being in Narnia”…
Rachel is ready for some sloppy seconds as she arrives for her Fantasy Suite Date with Nick. Romantic evening number two starts with a crash course in cross country skiing which leaves Rachel cracked up on the ground for most of the outing. It’s okay girl, those skis are really skinny, could happen to anyone. The two continue on to a beautiful cabin where Rachel finally overcomes her (understandable) apprehensions and tells Nick she’s falling in love with him. Nick seems elated! FINALLY, some genuine emotion out of this kid! Too bad it’s towards a girl who is already on her way out the door. Nevertheless, the two quickly pounce on each other and run upstairs for a night of frisky fun. The next morning the two lovebirds cuddle and kiss over breakfast, then Nick quietly slips out for his date with Vanessa while Rachel stares longingly after him in her penguin print onesie.

Polar Plunge?
Batting third is Vanessa, who actually had the worst Fantasy Suite Date in Bachelor history. This nightmare of a date consisted of she and Nick running out of a sauna and climbing into a frozen pond for a few seconds, then running back inside before the frostbite fully sets in. The best way to get a girl in the mood is to shove her into a cheap blue one piece and make her go neck deep in freezing water, right? Well, I guess it did something for this Maple Leaf, because despite the crappy atmosphere and overly dramatic discussion about family ties, the two opt to spend the night in a swanky lodge together.

The Rose Ceremony…
The ladies gather together for one last Rose Ceremony in Finland. This ceremony is brief and in the end, Raven and Vanessa are awarded roses while Rachel is stuck saying a hard goodbye to Nick. So now we have to ask… Why? The two had the best Fantasy Suite Date of the set, and they seemed to have a genuine connection that we just quite haven’t seen from the other two. If we didn’t already know that Rachel was the next Bachelorette I would have been in cardiac arrest. Now I really can’t prove anything, it just would like to point out that this all seems a bit strange…

Women Tell All…
Is it just me, or was this just two hours’ worth of The Corinne Show? I feel like I should have more to write on this… But truly I lost interest in these b*tches after the first hour. I’ll bullet the high points for you so you and your pup don’t have to listen to two hours of screeching. Seriously, I had to turn the volume down and turn on captions it was SO LOUD.

  • Corinne and Taylor are still fighting, but Corinne is clearly winning.
  • Taylor has a slight mental breakdown and bawls multiple times, proving her emotional intelligence to Corinne.
  • Corinne storms offstage… Then returns with a glass of champagne (#GOALS)
  • Corinne serves Nanny Raquel’s famous cheese pasta to the whole studio.
  • The other women give Corinne crap about her napping, because naps are suddenly extremely controversial.
  • Nick arrives and talks to Corinne about their breakup.
  • Rachel interrupts the show to remind everyone that she’s actually the next Bachelorette, not Corinne.

In summary, she may not have won Nick’s heart, but clearly Corinne won this season of the Bachelor. We cannot wait to see her back on Bachelor in Paradise, and we cannot wait for the Season Finale next week (assuming they don’t mix it up again)!
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What do you think Corinne will do next?
How do you feel about Rachel as the new Bachelorette?
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