Barking At The Bachelor: Season 21, Episode 2

Happy Tuesday Bachelor Nation!

Your favorite chardonnay-fueled dog mom is back, bringing you another exciting installment of Barking At The Bachelor! This week marks the first round of “real” dates for our bad boy bachelor, Nick Viall, and the ladies did not disappoint in the drama department! Two group dates and a one-on-one date definitely gave us a much better sense of what these ladies are working with, and I must admit that any fears I had of this season falling flat have been relieved. So, lets get to it, shall we?

Always a bridesmaid…
Date card numero uno called out Alexis, Brittany, Corinne, Danielle L., Hailey, Lacey, Raven, Sarah, Taylor, Vanessa outside of the Bachelor Mansion to three waiting Chrysler convertibles that whisked them away to yet another mansion. Here the ladies found out they would be taking part in a wedding photo shoot… Because what’s less awkward than taking wedding photos on your first date with nine other women? More awkward still, not every leading lady would get to dawn a wedding dress, several were chosen to be bridesmaids instead… OUCH. The Bachelor producers might as well have just labeled those contestants as expendable, because in addition to not being the focus of the photos, we hardly saw them in this episode at all. While the date was cute and everyone seemed fun, a few girls really stood out.

Alexis, AKA Dolphin-Shark, arrived out of costume for the first time this season, but it didn’t last long! Lucky girl was chosen to portray a “shotgun” bride, and was quickly fitted with a fake belly and maternity dress and proceeded to the photoshoot where they posed her as if she was giving birth right there on the alter… Poor girl can’t catch a break. But hey, at least she was the first to get Nick up her skirt? JK, Liz already did nine months ago….

Brittany is potentially my new favorite contestant because she SLAYED this group date! Chosen to portray the “Adam and Eve” bride, her costume was a fig leaf bikini bottom and some extra-long hair extensions. She could have been shy and a little awkward about being topless for the first date but instead she absolutely killed it and managed to be sassy and sexy without being too sleazy. I give her a 10/10.

However, not everyone was as receptive to her performance… Corinne, already chosen as the “bikini bride” (WTF? We just needed more naked girls on this date I guess) was not to be outdone. After just a few minutes of innocent splashing around in the pool with Nick, she whipped her top off and went full Janet Jackson in the photoshoot, and yes, it was just as weird as it seemed. Nick was beet red and uncomfortable while being forced to hold her hooters in the pool in front of nine of his other girlfriends and the enabling photographer. It was honestly so bad. Even worse? She was chosen as the WINNER of the best photo by the pornographer photographer… Um… WHAT? Nick, the guy ABC so desperately wants us to see as the nice, down-to-earth, guy next door can’t be okay with this can he? WRONG, he’s super into it and even rewarded her continual time-hogging efforts with the group date rose… UGH.

Their relationship is about to take flight…
Date card two brought a glimmer of hope to this disastrous episode when the blonde Danielle M. was selected to go on what I can only describe as a dream date. Seriously, anyone out there looking to win my heart, take note. The date started with a romantic Helicopter ride over the California coast to Newport Beach where the couple then landed on a luxury yacht for wine, cheese and, of course, hot tubbing. Que the typical but necessary making out in a hot tub montage. We learn she’s from Nick’s hometown and later that evening while having dinner on what we can only guess is a nearby carnival pier, we learn that Danielle M. was previously engaged to a closet drug addict who died of an overdose. Here come the waterworks people. Not only is she adorable and crazy nice, but she’s got a sob story. This is the making of a Cinderella story if I’ve ever heard one, and it is enough to win her a rose at the end of the night.

We need to talk…
Group Date Two called Astrid, Christen, Christina, Jaimie, Josephine and Liz to the ultra-creepy Museum of Broken Relationships. Yep, it’s a museum full of weird knick-knacks and horror stories about breakups, the stuff that nightmares and restraining orders are made of. Here we find that the first date will consist of a series of skits in which the ladies must break up with their Bachelor… HA! This should be good, right? WRONG. This date was mostly just a super awkward and boring montage of ladies yelling at Nick, and Josephine even smacked him for good measure (YAS girl, America is cheering for you). This all lead up to Liz’s performance, where she read a letter she wrote from a weird little notebook detailing their entire history… Trying to out him in front of everyone as revenge for basically ignoring her since she arrived. Only, it didn’t work, because everyone thought it was an act. LOL. However it did work in distracting Nick, who proceeded to be awkward for the rest of the date until he could talk to Liz alone, where he proceeded to dump her for being catty. BYE LIZ! Good to know I was right about you all along…

Unfortunately, the episode ends with a big, fat “TO BE CONTINUED…” so we didn’t get to see how Nick addresses his hook-up with the ladies, or a rose ceremony. But I will say that at the end of this episode I am definitely confused.

Nick, are you just looking for a good time girl or do you want someone of substance? 
I’m getting mixed messages, how about you?

I've finished my glass, so goodnight Bachelor Nation! Be sure to leave your thoughts on the show in the comments and to hit SUBSCRIBE !
We'll be back next week with the next installment of Barking At The Bachelor!

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You are cordially invited...
To join our Bachelor Fantasy Draft! Just click HERE to find and join our group, then make sure to complete the questions every week for your chance to be top dog! We cannot wait to play along with you!


  1. Oh the drama! It's so cool that you're doing a Bachelor Fantasy Draft. I've never heard of something like that before beyond football.

  2. Love this! I was in shock about Corinne...I thought we were supposed to see Nick's good side? And when Raven said "If Nick just likes someone who leads with their sexuality, no wonder it's his fourth time..."...mic drop!

  3. Ha! You summed it all up perfectly girl. And I'm getting total mixed messages too.

  4. Aww I love the Bachelor too but I've just never really liked Nick. Maybe he'll win me over as the season goes on! Love the idea of a fantasy draft but I'm rubbish at that - they always pick differently to the way I would!

  5. I don't watch the Bachelor (I don't even know what it is if I'm being honest), but your recap is cracking me up!

  6. I haven't watched this season yet because I was never a big fan of Nick but I think I need to catch up!

    La Belle Sirene 

  7. I personally do no watch the bachelor but it seems like so much drama! And I love the name of this post and your adorable puppy!

  8. I feel like the producers are making Corinne a bigger thing than she is. Side note: how is she 24 and still has a nanny? Also, Nick and Danielle M are SO cute.
    Shaguna | gold&hearts